Dear Jackie,

I miss your laughter, your jokes, your ‘my sister is clearly crazy’ look, your jokes about my lack of car knowledge, jam sessions with the windows down in your car over weekends of Spring Break and summertime.

I miss our eye-rolling in unison when the parents are being ridiculous as always or embarrassing in public (which I believe is technically their job).

I miss you, your newfound happiness with life and yourself. The way you would know exactly what tech gadget or app was the one to have at the moment and the smart, intelligent young man you have become.

1530549_770819479600457_1576060275_nToday is National Sibling Day and Throwback Thursday or as you know it by #tbt which means that I tag you in pictures as always and reminisce on older memories from weeks or months ago. This time is a little different though. You can’t see them, you can’t read them and you don’t call me or text me back. Sure – this will change and you will get better soon to do those things again – but it does not make it easier for your Big Sister to handle. I know right now if you could be here next to me we would be laughing about the weather and the crazy outfits people have on walking outside, now that it’s finally spring weather. Or maybe we’d start discussing cars and which dream car you have stumbled on owning after college graduation. It will all slowly fade away back into what your life and our life was before this happened but for now I just want you to know how thankful I am to have a brother like you, and a family like ours.

You are an incredible human being and one who would do anything for anyone you met without a second thought. I hope to be like you when I grow up and to be able to fight as hard as you are to get better, stay strong, keep pushing to get to the end of the race. It does not matter how long it takes you to get there bud, all that matters is we cross it and do it together. You and me singing, dancing (not very well) and laughing together like old times. Can’t wait for that!

As for now, Florent and I are counting the days until we get to see you again. We’re coming this weekend and are so excited to be with you and kick your butt into gear during therapy sessions as always – you know you love it!  I will see you soon baby brother. Very, very soon.

Love you lots and lots and more.

– Sis