It has been what I’m sure you already know was a rough night. Your stomach has been moody and acting a lot more like mine than yours these past couple days – with bouts of sickness and discomfort. You looked so tired this morning when we walked into your room to join Dad. One of the most difficult feelings to have is that of pure helplessness and frustration, looking around the room knowing that everyone in there just wants you to get better. To open your eyes, to talk to us again, to hold our hand and squeeze it tight so we know everything is going to be okay.
None of us know, not even you, what the future holds but I am positive that you will make it out of this as stubborn or more stubborn than you ever were before. You have refused to stop fighting, you’re breathing on your own (huge win that we celebrate each day!) and you even have a very nice start to what I will be lovingly calling your ‘caveman’ bearded look — hello no shave november!
It was the first time yesterday that I saw your heart rate go up when I talked to you. I made sure to let you know I was there and that I loved you plus even shared highlights from the Caps/Flyers game this week. It was a special moment to see you respond to me and it made me squeeze your hand just a little tighter knowing you could feel me there. Please, please sleep well and stay strong baby brother. You are such an amazing person who deserves to have every ounce of normalcy again that the rest of us usually take for granted on a daily basis. There will be a day, down the road, where we will laugh, you will find love, you will get your first job and first house and start a life on your own. I can’t wait for those moments and to share them with you. We are a strong family (seriously, it’s in our genes – look at Nana and Grandma) and we will absolutely get through this together and cross that finish line.
Hang in there today and tomorrow and the next day. One day at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time to finish this marathon of yours. We’ll get there, don’t you worry about a thing!
Love you lots and lots,